[ cloud knows alright. he knows and he should have known the moment zack's eyes took on that shade of something more serious over the video. it all comes crashing down with the words zack offers him, a reminder of what they had left behind on gaia. what zack had to return to eventually, aerith too--
i'll save you, he'll find a way to make sure they return alive and well. somehow. there has to be an answer in this place.
for now though, he lets zack touch his hair, say what he has to, but the determination on his face is solid. ]
Zack, you saved my life. If it hadn't been for you-- [ cloud would have died in that tank, so many years ago. he would have never stood a chance, left to rot under hojo's scalpel until the mad professor either discarded him as the failure he'd been or let him loose as a mindless monster twisted from mako. ]
I wouldn't have been able to help anyone if it wasn't for what you did. [ cloud had helped avalanche save the world, sure, but only because of zack's sacrifice. ]
Everything I did was thanks to you.
[ no a hint of doubt laces his words, but something does cling to them. there is more to the story than cloud simply picking up zack's sword, after all. a lot more. ]
[ It's funny how he doesn't consider the possibility of there ever being more if he returned home. Facing the world again, with Cloud and Aerith and whatever friends they make... It seems like a dream, a faded one that Zack doesn't hold onto as much as the here and now. He breathes and lives here, with the people who mean the most to him, and that's all he needs—if he can push past the fact he'd missed so much and snowballed the events he'd been told about by laying down his life to protect his honor and his friend.
Maybe he should have given himself some time, shouldn't have come to see Cloud until he'd had things worked out a little better, but Zack never seems to think ahead when it counts. ]
I know. That's not what I mean. [ He leans back now, dropping his hand and stepping so there's more space between them. How is he supposed to explain...? ] It wasn't fair to give you something you might not have been ready for.
[ There's a hint of a real smile though, pulling at the corner of his mouth. ]
the warmth those few words bloom in his chest, under his skin, in his heart, are unbeaten by any other. cloud flushes a hint, mouth opening to brush zack off yet the words won't come, can't come, after that. for so many nights, he's wished to hear zack tell him of his pride in cloud, a fever dream when he had believed himself unworthy of the life he often thinks he had taken from zack.
but for him to be pride--
it's too much.
and the new space between them is a void cloud wants to close with just as much eagerness as before, but instead his hands curl into fists to stop himself. ]
You didn't exactly have a choice. And I-- [ now his voice cracks despite all the strength he attempts to find in himself. ]
I wanted to honor your... your last wish. For a long time I didn't go a good job with it.
[ he had stolen zack, forgotten him, pretended to be him. there was no pride in that. ]
[ Zack finds that he says a lot that should never actually be spoken, but he stands behind something like this without a shadow of doubt, watching Cloud with that same seriousness that keeps trying to rule his features. It's hard to fight it when all he wants to do is smile, ruffle his hair and drag him in for a hug. The past is the past, and there's not much he can do about it now. Wishing to change it wouldn't do any good for either of them, so this is where they are. ]
Hey. [ The word is soft, meant to get his attention and distract him from whatever thought he's caught in. ] You probably had your reasons, same as me. I did what I thought I had to, and I... I guess you don't think right near the end.
[ Zack swallows thinking about it, how much he'd tried to be the hero he'd always wanted to be, and there's still so much he has left to prove, so much he has to do. Even if this isn't home, maybe he can make a difference here somehow. One step at a time, and it won't be so bad with both Cloud and Aerith at his side either. That's the one thing he can actually count on, and he throws away whatever caution he might have had coming here, reaching out to grip the blond's wrist, drag his hand down to ease the tension out of one of those fists so he can hook their fingers together. ]
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action.
Date: 2015-09-23 11:32 pm (UTC)i'll save you, he'll find a way to make sure they return alive and well. somehow. there has to be an answer in this place.
for now though, he lets zack touch his hair, say what he has to, but the determination on his face is solid. ]
Zack, you saved my life. If it hadn't been for you-- [ cloud would have died in that tank, so many years ago. he would have never stood a chance, left to rot under hojo's scalpel until the mad professor either discarded him as the failure he'd been or let him loose as a mindless monster twisted from mako. ]
I wouldn't have been able to help anyone if it wasn't for what you did. [ cloud had helped avalanche save the world, sure, but only because of zack's sacrifice. ]
Everything I did was thanks to you.
[ no a hint of doubt laces his words, but something does cling to them. there is more to the story than cloud simply picking up zack's sword, after all. a lot more. ]
action.
Date: 2015-09-24 05:25 pm (UTC)Maybe he should have given himself some time, shouldn't have come to see Cloud until he'd had things worked out a little better, but Zack never seems to think ahead when it counts. ]
I know. That's not what I mean. [ He leans back now, dropping his hand and stepping so there's more space between them. How is he supposed to explain...? ] It wasn't fair to give you something you might not have been ready for.
[ There's a hint of a real smile though, pulling at the corner of his mouth. ]
But I'm glad it worked out. I'm proud of you.
action.
Date: 2015-09-26 08:58 pm (UTC)the warmth those few words bloom in his chest, under his skin, in his heart, are unbeaten by any other. cloud flushes a hint, mouth opening to brush zack off yet the words won't come, can't come, after that. for so many nights, he's wished to hear zack tell him of his pride in cloud, a fever dream when he had believed himself unworthy of the life he often thinks he had taken from zack.
but for him to be pride--
it's too much.
and the new space between them is a void cloud wants to close with just as much eagerness as before, but instead his hands curl into fists to stop himself. ]
You didn't exactly have a choice. And I-- [ now his voice cracks despite all the strength he attempts to find in himself. ]
I wanted to honor your... your last wish. For a long time I didn't go a good job with it.
[ he had stolen zack, forgotten him, pretended to be him. there was no pride in that. ]
action.
Date: 2015-10-01 06:22 pm (UTC)Hey. [ The word is soft, meant to get his attention and distract him from whatever thought he's caught in. ] You probably had your reasons, same as me. I did what I thought I had to, and I... I guess you don't think right near the end.
[ Zack swallows thinking about it, how much he'd tried to be the hero he'd always wanted to be, and there's still so much he has left to prove, so much he has to do. Even if this isn't home, maybe he can make a difference here somehow. One step at a time, and it won't be so bad with both Cloud and Aerith at his side either. That's the one thing he can actually count on, and he throws away whatever caution he might have had coming here, reaching out to grip the blond's wrist, drag his hand down to ease the tension out of one of those fists so he can hook their fingers together. ]
But we've got time now, right?