[ It's a known fact (though not by Zack) that TANJA likes to do things her way, which is probably why Cloud gets a rather short video sent to him at a ridiculous hour. From the light in the room, it's earlier than when it's received, the angle somewhat off to the side and limiting his view. It's quiet, the decor of Zack's room just as neat and pristine as it had been when he'd arrived--like nothing is out of place or has been touched. For the first several seconds, nothing happens, but eventually, there's movement.
It's Zack, more than a little naked and damp from a shower. And the video ends when he tugs the towel hanging from around his shoulders to drop it onto wherever the video's being shot from. ]
[ The picture Cloud gets shortly after the video isn't exactly blurred on purpose, though it's a clear shot of Zack's back as he's tugging a shirt on. Maybe he sees a glimpse of those bullet-shaped scars if he looks hard enough. ]
[ Another picture, and this time, it's just of Zack's face, tilted down like he's thinking of something. From his expression, it must be important, because he's never looked this serious before. ]
[ he really shouldn't watch. it's clearly some kind of mistake, even if it isn't too long since they'd been... close. but cloud can't really help himself, it seems, since the moment he tells himself to close the feed it ends up ending by itself. that, and zack has always been somewhat mesmerizing; all that soldier strength.
then there's one of his face, which is a little more serious, but even then cloud ends up admiring zack's face more than anything... leaving him off-guard when his friend finally calls him with a question.
he fumbles a little, cursing quietly before answering. thankfully this is just an audio feed though someone might still think they'd interrupted some quality alone time by the sound of cloud's voice. ]
[ Zack hears it for sure, but he doesn't think to actually ask about it. He'd say if something was bothering him, right? It's all about trust, which is exactly why he's calling, and Zack doesn't even hesitate despite the odd weight that's settled in his chest. ]
I wanted to ask you about something from back home. Is your place okay to meet up? [ Since he's not allowed in Tanagura, and Zack won't push the subject. This is just... It's important. ]
this is different. cloud hesitates, not because he has anything to hide, but because this is new. zack is rarely so serious, and now he's asking to come over. realizing he hasn't said anything, cloud is quick to nod despite zack not being able to see it. ]
Yeah, I'm here. Just let me know when you're outside. [ beat. ] Is... is everything okay?
[ He doesn't think he's being that serious, trying to keep his voice light, but when something bothers him, apparently he has no control over what it does. There's a strangeness to the truth anyway, one he can't pinpoint or blame anyone for. So, this is the next best thing. He's already seen Aerith, but seeing Cloud might help more. He doesn't know. A pause, and he kind of laughs. ]
Yeah. [ That's all he says about that. (It's not really okay.) ] I'll be there soon. Wait for me.
[ And he ends the call, only sending a message to let Cloud know he's right outside when he gets there. ]
it'd be a lie to say he's not suddenly anxious, nervous. but the truth is it's very rarely that zack is so toned down, serious-- not even his laugh had been enough to hide the fact. but cloud waits. he won't judge before he knows what's going on.
when zack appears outside his door, cloud is quick to pull him in. they're still of different castes after all, and it wouldn't do to get zack into trouble. let alone himself. fingers around his friend's wrist, he tugs the dark-haired man inside, eyes flashing briefly as he looks outside, then closes the door. ]
[ It doesn't take him that long to get there, still without his sword, and when Cloud pulls him inside, Zack's not exactly prepared for it. He likes to think he had this whole speech planned out, about knowing what had happened and how he doesn't blame him for any of it--that it makes sense, now, why he'd been the way he had when they'd first seen each other. But it sort of fizzles out with the weight of Cloud's fingers around his wrist, and he pulls them to a stop when they're a few steps inside, refusing to budge further. This is...
It's weird. ]
Hey, I —
[ Zack has no idea what to say anymore. There's that soft glow of mako when Cloud looks at him, and the smile that had been there dissolves when he leans in to get an arm around him. He drags him close for a hug, face pressed to that soft mess of blond hair. He doesn't bother explaining, not yet. It'd only take a few words, and Cloud deserves more than that. What he does tell him is muffled, quiet. ] I'm sorry.
[ this... this isn't what he expected. zack looks-- wrong, but doesn't give cloud enough time to look, not really. instead, cloud is pressed against him a second or two later, zack's voice murmuring an apology he doesn't understand, or need.
slowly, an arm loops around zack in turn, hand twisting lightly into his friend's shirt. ]
...Zack?
[ see, he's really worried here now. did something happen, is he hurt, what? unless... unless this is about what happened before, right here at his place. a chill runs through him, right down the length of his spine as cloud tries to shake off the uncertainty. maybe that had been a mistake in zack's eyes, an unnecessary experiment which he doesn't want to continue.
he'll try not to be too disappointed. for zack's sake, he can try as much. ]
[ Even if Cloud doesn't need it, Zack has to do this. There's that stark memory of how cold the rain had felt, the wetness of the ground beneath him and how smudged Cloud's face had been when he'd tried looking at him. That time isn't so long ago for Zack, more recent than anything, but for Cloud, it's been... It's been a long time. He'd noticed the physical differences, of course, but what had there been to consider? He's from a future Zack had never been part of, and he hadn't wanted to dwell on that too much, ask questions that weren't his to ask. Now, they're stuck like this, and he knows.
He knows about Aerith and Sephiroth and... everything. He knows about everything, and he'd given that to Cloud unknowingly. Anyone suffering from such a heavy reaction to mako should have been taken care of, not-- ]
I should've been there. [ That's only one of the reasons why he's sorry, drawing back enough so he can drag his fingers through Cloud's hair. He's strong, he knows that, but Zack still can't shake just how fragile he probably is too. ] You saved everybody, and I just —
I'm sorry I gave that to you.
[ Even if that's all in the past, it's still too much responsibility, and when he finally looks at him, his smile is weak. He gets it now, right? He knows what he's talking about? ]
[ cloud knows alright. he knows and he should have known the moment zack's eyes took on that shade of something more serious over the video. it all comes crashing down with the words zack offers him, a reminder of what they had left behind on gaia. what zack had to return to eventually, aerith too--
i'll save you, he'll find a way to make sure they return alive and well. somehow. there has to be an answer in this place.
for now though, he lets zack touch his hair, say what he has to, but the determination on his face is solid. ]
Zack, you saved my life. If it hadn't been for you-- [ cloud would have died in that tank, so many years ago. he would have never stood a chance, left to rot under hojo's scalpel until the mad professor either discarded him as the failure he'd been or let him loose as a mindless monster twisted from mako. ]
I wouldn't have been able to help anyone if it wasn't for what you did. [ cloud had helped avalanche save the world, sure, but only because of zack's sacrifice. ]
Everything I did was thanks to you.
[ no a hint of doubt laces his words, but something does cling to them. there is more to the story than cloud simply picking up zack's sword, after all. a lot more. ]
[ It's funny how he doesn't consider the possibility of there ever being more if he returned home. Facing the world again, with Cloud and Aerith and whatever friends they make... It seems like a dream, a faded one that Zack doesn't hold onto as much as the here and now. He breathes and lives here, with the people who mean the most to him, and that's all he needs—if he can push past the fact he'd missed so much and snowballed the events he'd been told about by laying down his life to protect his honor and his friend.
Maybe he should have given himself some time, shouldn't have come to see Cloud until he'd had things worked out a little better, but Zack never seems to think ahead when it counts. ]
I know. That's not what I mean. [ He leans back now, dropping his hand and stepping so there's more space between them. How is he supposed to explain...? ] It wasn't fair to give you something you might not have been ready for.
[ There's a hint of a real smile though, pulling at the corner of his mouth. ]
the warmth those few words bloom in his chest, under his skin, in his heart, are unbeaten by any other. cloud flushes a hint, mouth opening to brush zack off yet the words won't come, can't come, after that. for so many nights, he's wished to hear zack tell him of his pride in cloud, a fever dream when he had believed himself unworthy of the life he often thinks he had taken from zack.
but for him to be pride--
it's too much.
and the new space between them is a void cloud wants to close with just as much eagerness as before, but instead his hands curl into fists to stop himself. ]
You didn't exactly have a choice. And I-- [ now his voice cracks despite all the strength he attempts to find in himself. ]
I wanted to honor your... your last wish. For a long time I didn't go a good job with it.
[ he had stolen zack, forgotten him, pretended to be him. there was no pride in that. ]
[ Zack finds that he says a lot that should never actually be spoken, but he stands behind something like this without a shadow of doubt, watching Cloud with that same seriousness that keeps trying to rule his features. It's hard to fight it when all he wants to do is smile, ruffle his hair and drag him in for a hug. The past is the past, and there's not much he can do about it now. Wishing to change it wouldn't do any good for either of them, so this is where they are. ]
Hey. [ The word is soft, meant to get his attention and distract him from whatever thought he's caught in. ] You probably had your reasons, same as me. I did what I thought I had to, and I... I guess you don't think right near the end.
[ Zack swallows thinking about it, how much he'd tried to be the hero he'd always wanted to be, and there's still so much he has left to prove, so much he has to do. Even if this isn't home, maybe he can make a difference here somehow. One step at a time, and it won't be so bad with both Cloud and Aerith at his side either. That's the one thing he can actually count on, and he throws away whatever caution he might have had coming here, reaching out to grip the blond's wrist, drag his hand down to ease the tension out of one of those fists so he can hook their fingers together. ]
He's worried it might get broken into, and I figured you might need something to do... It's a charity sort of thing for people in Midas. [ He drops in an email address. ] His name's Maraich.
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Date: 2015-09-23 04:18 pm (UTC)It's Zack, more than a little naked and damp from a shower. And the video ends when he tugs the towel hanging from around his shoulders to drop it onto wherever the video's being shot from. ]
no subject
Date: 2015-09-23 04:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-09-23 04:19 pm (UTC)audio.
Date: 2015-09-23 04:20 pm (UTC)I need to talk to you. Are you busy?
audio.
Date: 2015-09-23 04:38 pm (UTC)then there's one of his face, which is a little more serious, but even then cloud ends up admiring zack's face more than anything... leaving him off-guard when his friend finally calls him with a question.
he fumbles a little, cursing quietly before answering. thankfully this is just an audio feed though someone might still think they'd interrupted some quality alone time by the sound of cloud's voice. ]
Ah- no, no I'm not. What's up?
audio.
Date: 2015-09-23 04:44 pm (UTC)I wanted to ask you about something from back home. Is your place okay to meet up? [ Since he's not allowed in Tanagura, and Zack won't push the subject. This is just... It's important. ]
audio.
Date: 2015-09-23 04:46 pm (UTC)this is different. cloud hesitates, not because he has anything to hide, but because this is new. zack is rarely so serious, and now he's asking to come over. realizing he hasn't said anything, cloud is quick to nod despite zack not being able to see it. ]
Yeah, I'm here. Just let me know when you're outside. [ beat. ] Is... is everything okay?
audio.
Date: 2015-09-23 04:55 pm (UTC)Yeah. [ That's all he says about that. (It's not really okay.) ] I'll be there soon. Wait for me.
[ And he ends the call, only sending a message to let Cloud know he's right outside when he gets there. ]
action.
Date: 2015-09-23 05:03 pm (UTC)it'd be a lie to say he's not suddenly anxious, nervous. but the truth is it's very rarely that zack is so toned down, serious-- not even his laugh had been enough to hide the fact. but cloud waits. he won't judge before he knows what's going on.
when zack appears outside his door, cloud is quick to pull him in. they're still of different castes after all, and it wouldn't do to get zack into trouble. let alone himself. fingers around his friend's wrist, he tugs the dark-haired man inside, eyes flashing briefly as he looks outside, then closes the door. ]
Hey.
action.
Date: 2015-09-23 05:38 pm (UTC)It's weird. ]
Hey, I —
[ Zack has no idea what to say anymore. There's that soft glow of mako when Cloud looks at him, and the smile that had been there dissolves when he leans in to get an arm around him. He drags him close for a hug, face pressed to that soft mess of blond hair. He doesn't bother explaining, not yet. It'd only take a few words, and Cloud deserves more than that. What he does tell him is muffled, quiet. ] I'm sorry.
action.
Date: 2015-09-23 06:31 pm (UTC)slowly, an arm loops around zack in turn, hand twisting lightly into his friend's shirt. ]
...Zack?
[ see, he's really worried here now. did something happen, is he hurt, what? unless... unless this is about what happened before, right here at his place. a chill runs through him, right down the length of his spine as cloud tries to shake off the uncertainty. maybe that had been a mistake in zack's eyes, an unnecessary experiment which he doesn't want to continue.
he'll try not to be too disappointed. for zack's sake, he can try as much. ]
action.
Date: 2015-09-23 06:50 pm (UTC)He knows about Aerith and Sephiroth and... everything. He knows about everything, and he'd given that to Cloud unknowingly. Anyone suffering from such a heavy reaction to mako should have been taken care of, not-- ]
I should've been there. [ That's only one of the reasons why he's sorry, drawing back enough so he can drag his fingers through Cloud's hair. He's strong, he knows that, but Zack still can't shake just how fragile he probably is too. ] You saved everybody, and I just —
I'm sorry I gave that to you.
[ Even if that's all in the past, it's still too much responsibility, and when he finally looks at him, his smile is weak. He gets it now, right? He knows what he's talking about? ]
action.
Date: 2015-09-23 11:32 pm (UTC)i'll save you, he'll find a way to make sure they return alive and well. somehow. there has to be an answer in this place.
for now though, he lets zack touch his hair, say what he has to, but the determination on his face is solid. ]
Zack, you saved my life. If it hadn't been for you-- [ cloud would have died in that tank, so many years ago. he would have never stood a chance, left to rot under hojo's scalpel until the mad professor either discarded him as the failure he'd been or let him loose as a mindless monster twisted from mako. ]
I wouldn't have been able to help anyone if it wasn't for what you did. [ cloud had helped avalanche save the world, sure, but only because of zack's sacrifice. ]
Everything I did was thanks to you.
[ no a hint of doubt laces his words, but something does cling to them. there is more to the story than cloud simply picking up zack's sword, after all. a lot more. ]
action.
Date: 2015-09-24 05:25 pm (UTC)Maybe he should have given himself some time, shouldn't have come to see Cloud until he'd had things worked out a little better, but Zack never seems to think ahead when it counts. ]
I know. That's not what I mean. [ He leans back now, dropping his hand and stepping so there's more space between them. How is he supposed to explain...? ] It wasn't fair to give you something you might not have been ready for.
[ There's a hint of a real smile though, pulling at the corner of his mouth. ]
But I'm glad it worked out. I'm proud of you.
action.
Date: 2015-09-26 08:58 pm (UTC)the warmth those few words bloom in his chest, under his skin, in his heart, are unbeaten by any other. cloud flushes a hint, mouth opening to brush zack off yet the words won't come, can't come, after that. for so many nights, he's wished to hear zack tell him of his pride in cloud, a fever dream when he had believed himself unworthy of the life he often thinks he had taken from zack.
but for him to be pride--
it's too much.
and the new space between them is a void cloud wants to close with just as much eagerness as before, but instead his hands curl into fists to stop himself. ]
You didn't exactly have a choice. And I-- [ now his voice cracks despite all the strength he attempts to find in himself. ]
I wanted to honor your... your last wish. For a long time I didn't go a good job with it.
[ he had stolen zack, forgotten him, pretended to be him. there was no pride in that. ]
action.
Date: 2015-10-01 06:22 pm (UTC)Hey. [ The word is soft, meant to get his attention and distract him from whatever thought he's caught in. ] You probably had your reasons, same as me. I did what I thought I had to, and I... I guess you don't think right near the end.
[ Zack swallows thinking about it, how much he'd tried to be the hero he'd always wanted to be, and there's still so much he has left to prove, so much he has to do. Even if this isn't home, maybe he can make a difference here somehow. One step at a time, and it won't be so bad with both Cloud and Aerith at his side either. That's the one thing he can actually count on, and he throws away whatever caution he might have had coming here, reaching out to grip the blond's wrist, drag his hand down to ease the tension out of one of those fists so he can hook their fingers together. ]
But we've got time now, right?
text.
Date: 2015-09-30 06:59 pm (UTC)text.
Date: 2015-09-30 08:04 pm (UTC)1/2 text.
Date: 2015-10-01 05:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-01 05:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-01 05:49 pm (UTC)I'm listening.
1/2
Date: 2015-10-01 06:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-01 06:03 pm (UTC)What do you think? You can talk to him if you want. I'll set something up.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-01 06:37 pm (UTC)You know considering this place.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-01 06:49 pm (UTC)He's worried it might get broken into, and I figured you might need something to do... It's a charity sort of thing for people in Midas. [ He drops in an email address. ] His name's Maraich.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-01 06:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-01 06:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-01 07:00 pm (UTC)I just don't want to get my hands dirty with someone shady.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-02 04:50 pm (UTC)[ Like one and a half, but shh. ]
no subject
Date: 2015-10-03 09:12 am (UTC)